EXACTLY!!!!!!!! Perfectly put!!!!!!!! And STILL waiting for an answer lol!

Slippery customer, my man!

But the answers that I come up with every time are

* At the start he wanted to hook me and thought great sex would do it (it did! This makes me very angry – pretty sure he already had some pills from somewhere right from the start as he could only last at the weekends, never in the week. When I asked him if he was taking them at the very beginning he said no, it was just the excitement of a new partner – but how come I was only exciting at the weekends and not in the week? He said I was forgetting he’s getting old-huh?)

Also his Dr prescribed 8 pills, which my own doctor said doesn’t happen, said they prescribe 4 pills the first time then do checkup and only when Dr is happy will they prescribe 8 or 12. (This in in UK) He told me he’d got some before from a friend years before but not from a doctor

Therapist said “don’t think of it as being tricked, think of it that he was under pressure and didn’t know what else to do”. So it’s ok to mislead your new girlfriend then, cos he was “under pressure” poor man!

* At the start his desire for intercourse was strong enough to overcome his embarrassment, he didn’t find out the cost until we got to the pharmacy to get the pills. He’d been to the Dr and told me he got me a present. He showed me the prescription and we’d skipped off to get them like two kids! Then reality dawned at what he’d spent and so he rationed them out to make them last. He has SERIOUS issues with money

* He didn’t think we’d stay together as long as we have. He often used to say I needed a younger man and said how amazed he was that I was actually there with him, so I don’t think he imagined he would have to get more

* He thought I would go off sex before the pills ran out. Apparently that’s what happened with other girlfriends, but that was before the ED when he had delayed ejaculation and used to go on for hours and he wouldn’t leave them alone

* He’s now happy and comfortable in the relationship and thinks as long as we’re both getting satisfaction from what we can do, why should we pay just to make intercourse last a bit longer. He has a very busy life and says he gets tired so likes to pace himself, and I was aware that he found sex very tiring when he took the viagra. Also aware that he got some side effects from it such as headaches and problems with vision (but could have asked for a different pill?)

* So now he’d really rather not get more pills due to the cost, the side effects and that he doesn’t have the energy for longer lasting sex. I suspect he doesn’t feel as fit as he pretends he is and does struggle with various aches and pains.

* He’s scared to tell me once and for all he won’t get them in case I finish with him

And while he’s basically an honest, plain speaking guy, when it comes to this issue the truth seems to get get a little – er – bent, shall we say? Ironically if he were to say he doesn’t want them for any of the more ‘human’ reasons such as tiredness, side effects etc I’d be more understanding. It’s the idea that money is more important than my happiness that makes this difficult to take, but maybe his pride won’t let him use what he sees as a weakness in him as a reason

ARGH – long post – sorry :-)

Thats great news!

I can totally relate to the problem of having a doctor that a guy can talk to without feeling weird.

In my case I felt it was easier to talk to a female MD rather then the macho male types. Its easy to see (now) how dumb it is to get worked up about this because I think its one of the more common problems and they really don’t freak out about it.

I was very interested to read your post

I have posted a few times on this website but not for a long time now.
I am approaching 6 years of dealing with ED with my husband (together for 11 years) I am now nearly 37, and still want to have a child. He is still very affectionate, loving, and we share a lot of good times together but….
He refused to see a doctor or psychologist etc for over 4 years and rarely initiated any practical solutions, choosing to soul search inwardly instead. We both know that he has previously had personal ethical issues with having children, but I was assured that he was through this….
Over a year ago I finally got him to my doctor, where she got him to take low doses of cholesterol medicine and blood pressure lowering medication, in order to take Viagra. He didn’t go back for follow up tests for more than 7 months, which were better. I then had to make him go back to see her, in order to actually get the Viagra prescription, which he then didn’t get filled for several months. The Viagra worked OK, but never long enough to achieve orgasm. He also suffered nausea as a side effect. As a result, he basically didn’t want to take it more than once every so often, and never 2 days running, which doesn’t really help for a) the right time of the month and b) for practising outside that time. He was not proactive in going back to the doctor to discuss the next step.
I recently started investigating assisted conception (not true IVF, just artificial insemination really – as to our knowledge yet, we are not infertile), basically because I don’t think I can wait any longer for things to fall into place. At the rate of 1 unsuccessful session of intercourse per month, pregnancy is just not going to happen. So I told him that I had investigated, got him to agree that this was the right step to take the pressure off him, and made an appointment with our doctor for referrals. I don’t deny that I have ramped up the pressure in the last 6 months, but I feel it was time.
The sad thing now is (after a couple of fights about this and also that he seems to suffer bouts of depression that he will also not see anyone about) I’m actually starting to feel like I don’t want to go through with it and for the first time, even though he has said (again) that he is on board with this, I am seriously thinking about leaving. I can’t fight any more and drag him along against his will anymore. I have been accused of always looking for externally solutions, where he looks inwardly. But I ask, what solution has this introversion achieved? None as far as I can see.
But as I said earlier, we have a wonderful relationship – we actually like each other, get along, have cuddles, a lovely debt-free lifestyle. But I realised on the weekend, that I just don’t desire him any more. So, what if we go down this road of having a child and then next year, things are all the same, except now we have a child to complicate things.
So here is my plan….our (HIS) appointment is in a couple of weeks. He’s supposed to be showing me his commitment to the plan. He knows why we are going – so I plan to go to the appointment with him and sit back and let him do the talking. No prompting about why we are there and what we hope to achieve. It will be up to him to say to the doctor that Viagra is not working for our situation, and we want to get a referral for assisted conception. I will know then whether or not he is committed or not, or if he just says “well, YOU made the appointment”. After the discussions/arguments we had on the weekend (where I came right out and calmly said that if he didn’t want a child, then we shouldn’t be together and it would be wrong to go down that road), if he has not got off his bum and researched the matter and thought about what this doctor’s appointment is all about, then he still doesn’t get it and I will probably have to leave. Harsh – yes, but long
overdue. I can’t do this anymore.
If he doesn’t, if he wasn’t able to see the events of the last few weeks have been the lat straw for me and he hasn’t moved mountains to make some change in attitude, there’s little chance that my desire for him will return.
Apologies for the essay….it’s been a long time….


Partner went to the doctor this morning and is having blood tests to check for anything and everything – thyroid, heart, diabetes, liver and kidney function, cancer, and about half a dozen other tests

We’ll see whether this will result in him actually asking for more viagra, but at least he’s found an older male doctor who is more on his wavelength, hopefully this doctor can repair the damage that the awful young female doctor did to his ego when he last asked for them a couple of years ago! Shocking!

Interestingly the doctor put on the form ‘raised blood pressure’ as the reason for the million and one tests, but my partner said the doctor is quite happy with his health, just said he might need to lose a bit of weight

One step closer…

It can get complicated depending on the people involved

I think the fear of doctors thread is difficult for women to understand because women are much more familiar with seeing a doctor starting early. Age 16 you start seeing a doctor yearly (at least) in most cases. And embarrassment over doctors visits is thus lower for women (I think) simply because there are regular visits that make it all feel more familiar. I can’t tell you how many middle aged men tell me that they have never had a regular doctor or have not seen a doctor except for the rare emergency.

Talking about sexual health for men is a mine field because many of us connect our sexual abilities with our self worth. If we are not functional we are worthless or broken etc. Telling anyone is difficult. Telling a doctor who is a total stranger to us? Well it becomes much more difficult.

I think some spouses sense how uptight their men are and don’t want to “make it worse” by talking about it. This may seem like a good thing but not working on it lets it get pushed under the rug. And the longer its pushed under the rug the more the man thinks “This must not be important to her” And speaking for myself I had some really odd ideas about female sexuality until I found this forum. I figured my wife was probably relieved to not have to deal with my sexual needs.

So, what to do? Find a way to talk about it. Verbal, email, Text messaging or whatever works. Face to face “WE HAVE TO TALK” may not be the best approach.

Men and doctors is complicated. Some may need to go see a doctor and form a relationship before they blurt out their sexual issues. Some may find that having a written script is of value. Others may find that having their spouse along to speak up and do some of the talking is of great value. And will avoid the following type of visit.

Doctor “How are you?”
Guy “I’m fine”
Doctor “Ok, eat right and stop smoking see you in a year”
Guy “Ok”

I like that you said there is nothing wrong with you…

but I hate that at the end, you turn it around again to say “Why did I ever let myself…” because that flips it back over to you again. The only thing you’re guilty of is being a healthy, balanced individual. HE has the PROBLEM. It bothered me a LOT that you mentioned he refuses help of any kind. I know it’s scary for a man to face health/possible health issues. HOWEVER…shouldn’t it be even scarier for him to face losing a loving, lasting relationship? Partners are supposed to be BEST FRIENDS and I’d do anything within my power to make my best friends and people I love happy. And that means that if there is something wrong with ME that is making my husband unhappy (and I mean legitimately unhappy….I don’t mean him becoming unhappy with my appearance) or our relationship difficult, then I’d do what I could to work to fix it. Why won’t your partner do the same? Maybe men are much
different, I don’t know. But you have done all you could for him…and it’s time for him to do something for you. In the end, it’s not about the sex or the lack thereof. It’s about considering your feelings. I don’t think therapy is opening a can of worms. You may just need that if you’re now second-guessing being in this relationship. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck.

If you are not married yet to this man

please do a lot of serious soul searching before you get more involved…and the idea of therapy is probably a good one, for you. My husband won’t go either, but he is taking care of his problem, which is mostly medical, with a urologist and we are just about back to having a normal sex life again, halleluia.
as far as the delayed ejaculation, Ron has had that problem too since I met him and I puzzled over it. I came to the conclusion that when I had enough (reached my orgasm) I would let him know and he was fine with that. He said he didn’t need to come each time, that he enjoyed sex as is.
I will say that he does come with a sexual history that is out of the norm,
from what he mentioned about his childhood and early teens, he had encounters with older women that his father pretty much encouraged…one in particular told him that a woman wants a man who can perform a long time…hence the issues today. Maybe. who really knows.?
But all in all, the total package of Ron is a good one. He’s a good man, he does the right thing, and he couldn’t control me if he tried!
It take two to tango, you know!
And at my age, I hold absolutely nothing back…if I can’t communicate with someone, then I don’t need them in my life! I never ever will walk on eggshells again, never hold back my true emotions. If you can’t handle me as I am, then I don’t need to be around you, that’s my philosophy.
I’m 57 and I won’t spend the last few decades of my life whining, or crying about what might have been, or what could be. I am taking the bull by the horns and letting people know who I am.

Therapy – opening a can of worms?

Been doing lots of thinking lately (even more than usual!!!) and the day after going out for a meal with a friend to celebrate her birthday I realised I’d hijacked the meal completely by droning on almost non-stop about how I’m struggling to deal with ‘the problem’!

So the next day I phoned the SAA(formerly SDA)to try and get my thinking straight about where I go from here. My head’s now so full of this it’s influencing everything I do and I’m starting to dread staying over in case it leads to unsatisfying sex again – as it always does.

I spoke to them for nearly an hour about my partner’s lifelong history of delayed ejaculation, ED for the last 4 years and about his attitudes towards money and life in general, and my resentment that he tricked me at the start of our relationship into thinking the fantastic sex we had at the start would last.

She said he sounds like a very controlled person who keeps his emotions locked up very tight, which could have accounted for the sexual problems he’s suffered from all his life. Which was interesting when she called his delayed ejaculation a problem, because he’d turned it into a positive (though he did admit that going on for over an hour did lead to soreness and that ex girlfriends had got tired of it after a while!)

And I started to realise this guy’s actually had sexual hangups his whole life. I asked her if there was any medication I could get to reduce my sex drive and she said even if there was (which there isn’t) why on earth would I want to take a chemical when there’s nothing wrong with me? And it dawned on me – there’s NOTHING wrong with me – this controlling man is trying to control me!

What I’ve seen as being a problem with sex as he’s getting older is actually hangups influencing his whole character. He’s unable to have a proper relationship because of them (he’s never married or had children). The past girlfriends just got out a bit faster than me.

She said there could be many possible reasons which could be helped by therapy for both of us, but I know there’s no way he’ll be up for that. She said I can go for therapy on my own to help me decide what to do next but just talking to her has affected me so much I don’t know if I’m strong enough for more

Why did I ever let myself get into this situation with a guy I now realise is never going to fulfil my emotional or physical needs?

Today I am going shopping

I am stocking up on a few items fruits, meats and vegetables.

I have the treats for my friend who has a SUV big enough to put a lot of groceries and household items in it.

I am going to make apple butter nothing like homemade!

We are supposed to get rain tonight and early next week we sure need it!

Went to bed early and got woken up by dogs barking and coyotes howling I could not go back to sleep so had breakfast then did dishes and getting ready to leave at 9 am this morning darn critters they always get started after midnight.

My grocery bill has dropped drastically also household items it is just me now!

Nest month I hope to get most of the stuff in Suzanne’s old bedroom cleaned out the building more cabinets YEA I love doing woodwork very relaxing snd when you are done you have another cabinet.

It is almost 6 am now got to get all her treats ready.

Still yawing!

A busy year

Yesterday I started cataloging my books going for donation to the thrift store this month.
I have got 103 done and about 50 to 60 more to catalog.

Getting this home straitened will probably take over a year at least I thought it could be done in a few months WRONG! I am finding stuff all over the place it is like being on a treasure hunt!

It took 17 years to get this home that cluttered but I am making head way it is far better than it was.

Well the weather has got cold finally it is going to be a short winter and long summer we only have 2 seasons no more spring and fall due to climate change.

Today I am cooking up a big pot of beef stew I will be sharing this one to friends and neighbors a lot of old timers aka 90 plus cannot cook anymore so a few of us are doing the cooking for them.

Well on the brighter side on 17 July 2014 I will be 10 years post stoke YEA! My stroke was a hemorrhagic aka bleeder paralyzed on my right side but look at me now I am a spry old codger that is going to make headlines this year surprise!

The older I get the more I can do on my on. My caregiver died and I was a caregiver to her now I am both stroke survivor and caregiver to me!
I am enjoying being alone now I can do what I want to do marriage is out of the question!

Re: Thank you all very much

Nancy- There are some blood pressure medications Alpha blockers I believe that are also used to treat prostate problems.You might want to ask his Dr about that if he is already on blood pressure meds anyway, maybe switching him to one that has a dual benefit could help. It sounds like your Dad has had a good life. A Speech and Language Therapist might be able to help with some of the memory and non-meaningful speech
issues. He is lucky to have you for his daughter. Kate

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts. Charles Dickens

Thank you all very much

I would like to thank all of you who took the time to respond to my question about my father / meds to prevent strokes. I didn’t realize there were different kinds of strokes, and all the responses helped me to understand better what is involved. I can see now why the doctor said there weren’t any such meds, though of course I was hoping it was so. I think the medicine being talked about probably was a blood thinner as someone mentioned, since I’m fairly certain now that he had the blockage type (they’re still getting test results, but there’s no bleeding).

He appears to be doing better – he isn’t talking so strangely and saying so many things like “I’m only taking sky and space medication and that is it!”, though his memory is still off (mostly getting names mixed up, using words that sound like they’re from the 1930’s, thinking something that happened 50 years ago was much more recent, etc).

He has always taken good care of himself, never drank, did smoke when he was a young man but quit over 35 years ago, is very careful about what he eats, watches his weight (was never overweight), takes his BP and other meds, sees the doctor for checkups, stays very active in different activities, and even remodeled a house by himself just two years ago, including new siding, new roof, new sub-floors to replace rotten ones, new drywall, and built a big old-fashioned country porch, and more, all by himself.

In fact I guess he’s lucky to even have made it to 75 because he’s allergic to a long list of medications including penicillin, had a heart attack last year on the very day I was giving him and my mother a well-deserved 50th wedding anniversary party, one I worked on for months, with people from all over attending (I’m not complaining about the work arranging it, just how sad it was that he couldn’t attend when he had been so excited about it). Then a month after that he was diagnosed with prostrate cancer (non-aggressive, luckily) and just had surgery a month ago ago for it, not removal of the prostate since he didn’t think his body could withstand it, but another procedure that was pretty
painful in itself . So anyway it seems he has made it through once again.

I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m minimizing what people on this list have gone through by talking about what has happened to my father in the past year. In fact I don’t know what words to say which won’t sound like I’m being presumptuous, when I haven’t gone through what most or all of you have or are still going through.

But I would like to thank you all for your kind responses at a time when I was feeling panicky and totally unsure of what to do or what questions to ask the doctors since of course at a time like that there’s not much time to think or do research (though I believe it did help him to have someone with him most of his waking hours).

Thanks again for your kindness,


Re: Oww!


I always work for food, to match me, food from a slow cooker is best.


Ever since I had my stroke, I was (inside) fighting against the “not being able to’s”. I used to walk behind my wheel chair, pushing it
for a walk. So, Yes, it happened overnight and No, I had to determine to and work for everything I’ve gained back.

Here it is 7 going on 8 years post stroke for me, I’m STILL fighting and STILL gaining.

I’m at a stage (of transition) now where I am deciding, ‘I can walk and waddle with my cane or walk and waddle without my cane. So, I’m
walking and waddling without it more and more. A thing I’ve noticed, when I waddle with my cane, ppl see I’m disabled and move out the
way, when I waddle w/o my cane, they must figure I’m drunk and stay in the way. So, most times I go out in public, I have my cane.

David S

Asheville, NC


I did some roto tilling yesterday. Quite a feat for a stroker the docs said would be wheelchair bound for life (and I was for eleven months).
Well, I’m still sore today and still pumping down aspirin, but hey. All is good. My soreness of muscles I forgot existed are out there reminding me they are still there and wanting (yeah right) to be worked/used.

David S
Asheville, NC

Life Span

Though my wife, Peggy, now works for a home-health agency (auditing nurses notes to be sure they are acceptable to medicare so the agency will get paid) in the past she has worked as assistant director in one assisted-living facility and as director of nurses in another. A couple
years ago a 104 year old woman who had resided in the home where Peggy had served as director of nurses (and I had led a volunteer weekly
chapel for over a year) passed away and we were blessed to be able to attend her wonderful funeral.

Re: Wy I am the way I am


I do not usually respond in any way to my ‘horn being tooted’, but, you were such a sweetheart in what you said about me, I mailed a copy
from this site to my email box. I’m going to put it in my mom’s folder so she can read what another(s) think about her son. I might get a few brownie points, or better yet, a few brownies.

I am glad to hear Joe had a decent tine, and you. We must talk in our email boxes of a possible visit to you all. You know we’re in the same
state, just a different part (me mountains, you beach). Believe it or not, after 20 years in Clearwater, Florida, I’m kind of needing to
have a beach fix.

David S

Asheville, NC

Hi, Seems awfully young for this, but not unheard of

Of course he needs to see the physician to rule out possible causes that would be needing more aggressive treatment (ie. diabetes, etc). Venous leakage is the phrase of the era of ED, and it is a normally occuring change i in men as we age. Yes, it starts at different ages, and he is certainly old enough. The number one predisposing factor in ED is being a male over the age of 50. Of course the PDE-5 inhibitors – Tadalafil 20mg, 40mg, 60mg; Azithromycin 500 mg etc. are the first line of treatment for the docs, but has he tried “cock rings”. Many of us find them very helpful in retaining blood in the penis after an erection is attained, many varieties wold, they are not expensive, and he can experiment. Some of them are even designed with vibrating attachments to enhance the experience for you too. Many find the rings more helpful if pulled around both the base of the cock and the scrotum together. Hint, trimming will make application and removal far less of a painful ordeal. Gotta get the hair out of the picture, he doesn’t need a total shave (unless the two of you like that, lol), but trim and shave enough to make the area free of hairs to be pulled on, OUCH!!

Wy I am the way I am

David, I dobn’t know the answer to the why;s but I know I sure like wat I saw. You are charming and very eloquent. Heck even Joe likes you
as you are, he is usually indifferent to people he doesn’t realy know. I find you amazing in trhe way you present yourself. I don’t know many
that hv never had a stroke that presents themselves in the confident way you do. Get on with your bad self, you charming devil you.

I can’t offer or hv anything to comment on not sleeping. I hv the opposite problem, I struggle to stay awake most of the time, I can lie down, shut my eyes and think…..go to sleepand I am quickly asleep. Like A Bolt Mary

Hope its all good news from the Doctor

One of the things that I was clueless about was how important this was to my wife. She didn’t want to “stress” me by telling me how upset she was. Part of this was her wondering if I even cared (I did) and a lot was about my motivation. Was I avoiding seeing a doctor because I didn’t care? No! at least not in my case. It was just 99% fear of the doctors reaction. As one of those guys that didn’t see the doctor I had little clue what the reaction would be. Btw its professional and not “your WHAT doesn’t work?!?!” which in my stupid head was what I thought would happen.

Communicate with him. Maybe send him an email saying that your really on pins a needles about this. Ask him whats going on and tell him how anxious you are. I think (hope) that his reaction will be like mine. A bit surprised. Maybe flattered how much you care.

I got the point of issuing ultimatums last Friday

I had opted out of a long weekend with the in-laws and he got shitty at me for that. We still hadn’t properly discussed the next steps after the doctor’s, and so I initiated that discussion on Friday night. The conversation revealed that he was “happy either way” with having children, was “indifferent”. I guess a lot of men feel this way, but they still have to be happily committed to the process if it’s agreed that’s where you are heading.
He said that he was going to get the sperm count done, start exercising and make an appointment with the urologist (and he also was supposed to get a blood test done asap) – but it was not said with love or any real admission/apology that his previous lack of action had been detrimental. I said that it HAD to happen this week, with his own self-motivation, that I was not going to do this anymore, I could not go on the same way. He left for the weekend very very angry. He came back seemingly OK, even “normal”. I made a resolve to be happy and normal this week, and not to mention/push for anything – it has to be him. I did not however say what happens if he doesn’t act this week.
It’s now Thursday – it was a long weekend, so he’s had Tuesday and Wednesday so far this week to do something. I know he hasn’t been anywhere other than taking me to/from the train station (the car odometer tells me so), which also means he hasn’t been going to the office (yes, he can work from home, but why not tell me?? This is a concern because of the recently depressed state). All the medical paperwork is still sitting on the table at home. He also had breakfast this morning, which means he has no intention of getting a blood test done today either. Yes, I know there are still a couple of days left in the week, but I resent him for making me live through this, wondering every day…if he intends to go tomorrow, then tell me he intends to go tomorrow! Is he testing me to see if I mention it? Is he calling my bluff? And if he goes and does tests and doesn’t tell me, then it’s almost as bad – that shows no respect for my feelings.
If there is nothing done this week, I will be leaving on Sunday for a while. We have a social thing on Saturday night that I don’t want to disturb, but I made it quite clear that this week was it. Sadly, part of me actually wants him not to do anything because it makes my decisions easier. Throwing me a curve ball by getting a test done on Friday (and not telling me in advance that he had planned to do it then) just strings out my agony. Every day that I get home and I see that car has been nowhere, and I see the paperwork sitting there, and he doesn’t mention it, tortures me.

Hello–Iam new to this group….

I am Susan… I am the caregive for my mama..She had a massive stroke 11 years ago…I have put my life on hold to care foe her…..I thank
God everyday i have my mama…She is confined to a wheelchair however she is mentlly here….I enjoy her so much…I try to keep a positive
outlook on this situation…For she has proven the medical staff wrong….So Just don’t give up….Yes we do have days that seem to go
on and on and on…..God bless you all

Re: Re: Sure knowledge

I’ve always valued my independence and solitude. Not great attributes for a post-stroke life. My stroke helped me shed my reserve and gain a better sense of humor. One needs humor to put up with the indignities of depending on others for the dumbest things like stepping off an extra high curb or picking up something that dropped and rolled under the desk (two examples from this week alone!). It’s been liberating and I feel more connected to other people. I returned to work at an office I loved and worked in for about 8 years and have made new friends as well as renewing connections with old friends. I didn’t lose friends because of my stroke. Instead I learned to value friends and also casual acquaintances.

Humor? I used to be such a sourpuss. Or at least too reserved to be approached easily. The reserve is now gone. And these days I enjoy a good laugh and have discovered my own wit. As I left the office today I almost tripped as I stepped into the elevator. I took the opportunity to introduce my alien leg to the people already in the elevator – people I didn’t know. They laughed with me, and I think they laughed in appreciation of my dispelling their concern that I might fall (which was a strong possibility). Maybe disabled but not handicapped. (Huh?)

I’ve learned to depend on people. At Quaker Meeting others have “organized” to help me look after my almost 4-year old granddaughter. I’m not embarrassed or angry about being dependent. I’ve felt more connected to my Meeting than ever before.

Friends? I found them. They were always there but I didn’t know how to be a friend.

Nancy in Virginia

Sure knowledge

There probably is no such thing as “sure knowledge” but we all categorize things we hear or see as “probable”, “trustworthy”, “doubtful”, etc. Some “out and out lies” and some “facts” lie in that domain. In math, physicsm geometry, calculus it has become common to “prove” a
theory or formula with what is often called a “quadrilateral”. Looking at the same thing 4 different ways. If it “proves out” the same with 4 different approaches it becomes “trustworthy”. In theology Dr. Albert Outler who has retired from teaching at Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University coined the term “The Wesleyan Quadrilateral” to describe the method that John Wesley (the founding minister of the Wesleyan/Methodist movement) used in developing his theology. He openly proclaims that Wesley never used the term but gives numerous of examples from Wesley’s prodigious writing of him basing his teaching on:

2. Scripture
3. Rationality
4. Experience

I believe it was true of John Wesley and is a good methodology.

If no one has believed and done it before its doubtful. Then “does it make sense?”, then had it happened to anyone in your own life experience?

Though he was speaking of theological thought the principles can be applied to any type of thinking or belief.

For US Older Folks

A college student at a recent football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his.

“You grew up in a different world,” the student said .. loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. “Today we have television, jet planes, space
travel, man has walked on the Moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with
light-speed processing, and, uh ..”

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the geezer said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young; so we
invented them, you little shit! Now what the hell are you doing for the next generation??”

I love senior citizens!

Gerda’s trip

Your trip sounds absolutely wonderful. Go for it!. When its done you’ll just confirm the old saying, “There’s no place like home”. I’ve long wished to visit South Africa but have also come to realize that that is sort of like visiting the “USA”. It’s huge and diverse from place to place. Here in Texas, USA “SA” is the beautiful city of San Antonio which I first visited when it had a world’s fair in 1968. In its downtown it has a Venice, Italy-like “Riverwalk” with canals and gondolas. I’ve even had a romance there with a woman I dated a while after my first marriage ended in divorce, but which ended for various complicated reasons,

open to suggestions

hi guys,

First I experienced a hemorhagic stroke 8 years ago at the age of 31. I lost the use of my left arm and must wear a leg brace to walk. I
did not do my exercises as I should have, (if I knew then what I know now).

Anyway I am interested in getting started exercising, just some light things, I am quite lazy and very hard to motivate. Any suggestions
for a light exercase program?

Continual hip pain

I am almost 3 years post-stroke. I get PT and OT twice per week. I still spend most of my day in the wheelchair. My PT says this is what is causing the excruciating hip pain. My hip rotates out externally due to the stroke. I am on the verge of increasing my pain killers to twice/day. Has anyone had a resolution to hip pain through PT? I am beginning to have my doubts.


The media reports the patent on Viagra has come to a finish today. This implies that other drug companies are now able to create their own variants of the drug.
Viagra was made to take care of angina and hypertension. Investigators found that it wasn’t especially powerful for either state but due to temporarily raising blood circulation to the dick, that it did lead to sustained erections.
Producers Pfizer have held the exclusive right to advertise the drug (known as a patent) for the last 15 years because it was certified in 1998. Since the patent has expired other pharmaceutical companies have the ability to advertise their particular versions of sildenafil citrate 100mg or 50mg.
Chances are the cost of those unbranded versions (generics) will be lower, and therefore Pfizer will face competition for revenue. They might need to drop their costs in response.
What does this mean when a drug comes off-patent?
A patent is a kind of intellectual property that protects new creations. It provides whoever owns the patent the right to stop others from making, using, importing or selling the innovation without permission.
Medications are managed by patent laws, meaning an unique business has the exclusive right to advertise a drug they’ve found and developed. Before the patent expires other businesses aren’t permitted to create or advertise the exact same medication.
Initially, when pharmaceutical companies find a brand new drug they’re issued with a supplementary protection certificate (SPC).
Regular patents within the EU are valid for up-to 20 years to permit time for the drug to be examined in clinical trials and developed completely.
Still, once the drug is eventually approved and given a license to be offered, the SPC enables an additional period of up to 15 years for the business to advertise the drug alone.
Viagra was certified in 1998 and had a 15year exclusivity period that came to an end a couple of days ago.
This really is a ‘non proprietary’ title, meaning it’s not protected by a patent no company possesses the right to the generic title. Once a patent has expired, other businesses can offer them under this generic title and create their very own variants of the drug.
Generic forms of the drug are generally cheaper since the research and development expenses were less, even though they comprise exactly the same active ingredient as the branded merchandise.
The medications can cost as much as 80% less compared to the medications, and therefore prescribing them can save lots to the NHS of cash.
Two days ago the pharmaceutical company Teva UK issued a news release reporting they had created a variant of generic sildenafil.
Individual information about Viagra (sildenafil)
It’s obtainable in pill form in three different strengths and it is taken one-hour before sex, a maximum of once per day. When there is sexual arousal it works to restore erectile function by boosting blood circulation to the dick.
Who may use it?
Though there are several men for whom the drug might be unsuitable, sildenafil is relatively safe for most men with ed. The little increase in blood pressure might suggest the drug is unsuitable for people that have a history of severe heart or liver disease, since it causes the blood vessels within the entire body to dilate.
Before you begin taking sildenafil you always ought to have an individual risk evaluation from your GP or the physician in control of your own care.
Sildenafil is not acceptable for girls or kids under age 18.
If you’re taking medications which contain nitrates because the blend could cause a possibly dangerous decline in your blood pressure don’t take sildenafil.
Side effects
nausea (feeling ill)
vomiting (being ill)

muscle pain
Sildenafil is connected with a rather little, rare threat of heart problems like angina, heart attack or heart rhythm issues. That occurs more frequently in individuals with existing cardiovascular diseases, and that’s why guys with cardiovascular disease should be evaluated before being appointed sildenafil.
Can I get sildenafil about the NHS?
Sildenafil can be prescribed by your GP provided that it’s safe to do so. Nevertheless, in certain cases you might require to pay the complete price of the drugs. The precise price really depends on the the neighborhood pharmacy as well as dosage, but four Viagra pills generally cost between ?30 and?17. Chances are that now the patent has expired the cost of sildenafil will fall.
Presently, only guys with these conditions are eligible for the drug on an NHS prescription (meaning they only pay the prescription charge).
multiple sclerosis – a disorder which impacts your body’s actions and activities, for example motion and equilibrium
Parkinson’s illness – a disorder which impacts how the brain coordinates body motions, including walking, talking and writing
polio – a disorder which can cause serious muscle paralysis (lack of motion)
Rachischisis – a number of birth defects which affect the growth of the back and nervous system
Specific genetic illnesses, such as Huntington’s disease

Re: Re: Re: Re: stroke and pregnancy question


I have not had to take Lovenox or heparin but I know of people on another list that have done this though their pregnancy and had perfect babies. I belong to other Yahoo groups that would have some information for you. I am in Factor V Leiden and thrombosis groups. Also, on the list they discussed a Yahoo group specifically for pregnant or wanting to be pregnant people with clotting disorders. The focus is the clotting disorders like Factor V Leiden, Protein C and S deficiencies and more though anyone is welcome. Search the Yahoo groups with some of the phrases above. If you can’t find them I will find out their exact names.

Lovenox does not cross the placenta and that is the drug of choice for clotters that are pregnant. Otherwise you would be on Coumadin. However, Lovenox is by injection into your abdomen usually the lower abdominal area. I heard it makes you bruise and it hurts with the injections. Very pricey also. If you want a baby I guess you need to go that way.


Re: Re: Re: stroke and pregnancy question

Thank you for the info, I appreciate it. I had an electrocardiogram, it was normal, they checked the arteries along my neck with an ultrasound, I also had two MRIs. All my tests came back normal. It was really weird, I was on birth control 8 years, and then the stroke finally happened. I never had a stroke before that. I did switch from the pill to the patch though and again, my cholesterol could have been better. I’m not sure what a PFO is. Thank you again.

Stephanie- Lovenox is a low molecular version of heparin and it is effective in dealing with clots, it is injected into the fatty layer of skin the same way diabetics inject insulin. A. P.F.O. is a defect of an opening on the back of the heart that is supposed to close shortly before or after being born. An EKG won’t always signal the presence of a P.F.O. the abbreviation stands for Patent(open) Foramen Ovale this is an extra opening to allow maximum blood flow between mother and baby during pregnancy and either a bibble study or Transesgheal Endoscopy is needed to diagnose the presence of a P.F.O. in an adult. Many Clinics(especially those connected with a Medical School) have High Risk Pregnancy Clinics that could probably guide you through any family planning concerns. Kate

Re: Re: stroke and pregnancy question

Thank you for the info, I appreciate it. I had an electrocardiogram, it was normal, they checked the arteries along my neck with an ultrasound, I also had two MRIs. All my tests came back normal. It was really weird, I was on birth control 8 years, and then the stroke finally happened. I never had a stroke before that. I did switch from the pill to the patch though and again, my cholesterol could have been
better. I’m not sure what a PFO is. Thank you again.


Re: stroke and pregnancy question

Have a look at the information on Homocysteine-the birth control pill is a folic acid inhibitor and also check out whether you have a PFO-Did you have a TEE? In younger people it often 2 things that cause TIA or stroke-clotting problem and something else.

Sincerely, Sharon

stroke and pregnancy question

Hi Everyone

I am new to this group and have a few questions. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible: I am in my mid twenties, had a TIA (mini-stroke) last year. I’ve turned into a lab rat for the past year, had every blood test known to man. The doctor’s have concluded that they have absolutely no idea what caused my stroke other than that I was on birth control at the time and my cholesterol was a little high. To be safe, I was taken off of birth control, put on a baby aspirin a day and have sense remained stroke free. Now, I would like to start planning a family, the doctor advises against it due to risk of another stroke, however, if I insist on children, the doctor’s suggestion is to put me on a medicine called lovenox (injected heparin I think). Has anyone had any experience with blood clots and pregancy or lovenox? Any feedback or experience you could provide me would be greatly appreciated. I’m at a total loss and do not yet want to give up the chance at motherhood.



My husband

My husband had a stroke of the eye last night.The name for it is Central Retinal Artery Occlusion.Because a blood clot in the artery behind the eye ,he had a sudden,painless,complete loss of vision in one eyeThe damage can not be reversed .I am in shock yet. We are to go see the doctor today ,We were in the emer.room most of the night.
Thanks for listening Nancy

End life

I was extremely depressed (‘anger turned inward’ resulting in a person being ‘frozen’the first full year after my stroke and though I never had suicidal ideation I did say, many times, “It would have been better if I had just died”, to which my wonderful Peggy wuold say, “Now hush.”

She has worked as a nurse in several large assisted homes with elderly retirees and has heard various ones ask, many times, “Why doesn’t God
just take me home?” It is extremely frustrating to not be able to do much of what we previously could do, usually “do easily”.


Spicy Mexican food

During the time of the man called Napoleon III there was an attempt for France to have an “empire” as they had had earlier. France set up a
government and ran Mexico from 1864-1867. During that time there was an influx of good French food and recipes. Unfortunately these were far
too expensive to be prepared by the common people (usually quite poor) of Mexico so some of them began to try to “spice-up” the everyday foods
they *could *afford, beans, corn meal, etc. by adding chilis, chili pepper, onions, etc. Out of those early attempts to make everyday food a bit more interesting has come the development of tamales, enchiladas, tacos, quesedeas, etc. that the world has come to know as “Mexican food and love. Here in Texas the variety of food known has “Tex-Mex” (our histories intertwine for Texas was long a part of Mexico) is a delight though it will curl the hair of most people. Its one of my favorites.


Although I knew if situation was reversed I wud take care of loved one. However, the feelings of my constantly demanding needs were very streesful. I think anyone feeling as if they are a burden is a valid feeling. I was surronded w/ the ultimate love and careing of my 5 children and husband but I resented my being so needy. It was about me not them. I find it sad that living wills are more about being a burden in sones life than their own life. Independence is an awesome thing and no matter the love and careing we all want it.

Nanci I think crap happens. A marriage takes on a whole new meaning after stroke. My husband loves and has put up with 4 yrs. of me in a
derannged state of mind. I now after 8 yrs am so much btr but the marriage did a totol flip flop. He now takes care of all household issues, check book, groceries etc. I was the family manasger before. I still don’t se well enuf to read bills and small info print. So he must deal w/these things. I know I’m not the exciting,vibriant wife I once was. Your husband may or may not hv felt responsible for you and cudn’t deal with it. I think changes in everything affectwed his decision. I don’t think your being crippled was the big issue. Let him take responsibility for his decision. It’s a weakness in him not you. All you can be is wat you are, you can’t know how he feels or him knowing how you feel. It’s very sad wat he has decided but I think my marriage is very sad as well. My husband is still here and I believe he loves me deeply but I often cry to have back wat was. Like A Bolt Mary


Just out of curiosity — is there anyone who is NOT taking medications after their stroke? I’m sure it is based solely on religious reasons (in-laws are Christian Scientist) but my FIL is not taking ANYTHING. He had been taking the Plavix while in the hospital & nursing home, but since he’s been home, he’s not taken anything. Am I just an idiot for wondering why the doctor he HAD to see to get the “prescription” for outpatient therapy didn’t question or voice a concern about him NOT taking any medication? (I know that for a fact since I made my hubby take them to the doctor’s appt & he was in the room the whole time to “supervise”.)

Time w/little help

Viv & Rick
Time is the greatest healer of stroke. healings are usually subtle and not overnight miracles. We found help w/Independent Living a federal agency in your state. I am told the Muscular dystrophy and Easter seal society will help. I hv not used them. I suggest you start w/social
services they are full of info. I also suggest calling the Senior Center although he may not be a senior citizen they hv resources you might can use. I wish you both the best. This is a difficult journey for anyone. seceond to second memory may be gone for now. reading and comprhension may be lacking. I hv an article in March/April issue of Stroke Connection Magazine and am also their cover girl. If you don’t
hv a subscription go on line and get one it’s free. Like a Bolt Mary


Len We can all relate to the feeling sorry for ourselves(?) I’m 8 years post stroke and often break down and cry for Mary (my old self) When I’m realy down I think of her as some one I let down. She doesn’t derserve this. I hv a very detached feeling of sorrow for her. Even if you don’t hv detachment feeling, how cud you not be sad for wats happened. Everything changes w/stroke. We are very different mentally and physically. Other people treat us different, even in the ways they love us. This is a very difficult journey but doable. When I feel the need to cry I do it. I think all facets of me need the release. Wud we not cry for someone else so changed? I don’t cry as often as in the past as I hv moved on. I do find the more well I became mentally the more angry I am over this devistation. In many ways I lost 6 years of memories while I lived in a mental fog. The way I am was accepted as The way I am. Now I get angry which is usually tied to frustration, or my lacking ability to participate in watever is going on. It’s been a life of adjustments daily but I’m so greatful to hv my mind back, it was gone for a long time.I’m loving life in it’s simplisity and grateful for all the senses I hv. I’m closer to God as I believe I know him to be real and profound. Just to see a storm or sunshine in all it’s wonder excites me now. I hv a favorite web site you might want to visit no spaces when you put in address. It puts life in perspective. You hv come to a great place in this group as there is more real true life things than you find in medical books. Welcome.
Like A Bolt Mary

Terri Schiavo

I just saw on the news that Terri Schivavo passed away. Surely there are varying views on the course of action that our society could have taken and in fact did take in dealing with her illness. We took a path which in philosophy is called “utilitarianism”, which means that anything, including persons, are valued by their “utility” or “function”. Most of us have less utilitarian value than we once had. I’m a US citizen and I receive a monthly Social Security benefit because I’m disabled. If “utilitarianism” comes to dominate the US Congress’ actions that benefit will be put to rest. As a retired (due to disability) minister I receive monthly retirement benefits but if that program were to follow a utilitarian view it would be ended. After all, it is expensive to the churches and there is little or no return benefit.
Dallas, Texas USA

Re: Re: Message from a stroke surviving cat

All cats, whether housecats, wildcats, tigers, lions, whatever, sleep 16 hours per day. You can count on that. Perhaps civility of cats is not fully related to breed. We have a huge white Persian named Azure (for his sky blue eyes) who is gentle and friendly. The most affectionate cat I’ve ever known.


Re: Message from a stroke surviving cat

Luv and blessings to Carnaby.

We (my son and I) got a white Persian cat after learning that these cats have a wonderful disposition (i.e. friendly and loyal).

Well, the opposite is true. Our Chia has a vile temper. Hates grooming. Finicky eater (will only eat dry catfood). Sleeps all day and races around the apartment all night keeping us awake. Healthwise she is fine (but a heart murmur, and vet tells us these cats usually only live to 10 years). She is gorgeous, and the loveliest feeling is when she climbs on to my bed in the morning and clasps my hand in her front paws and licks it. We took her to the vet yesterday, 2 assistants held her down, while the vet sheared, then shaved an area on her back to remove a huge hair-mat which she would not let us get near. Revenge is so sweet! She has been sweetly purring all evening, but don’t go near her with a comb! She is just over one year old, and weighs a ton. Her amber eyes are gazing into mine, and I’m wondering what mischief she is planning next.

Message from a stroke surviving cat

Hello humanfolks –

my name is Carnaby. (Members longer in this group will remember exchange of postings between Squeaky in Chicago and me). I am a 16 year old prize-winning American Somali cat. Once I was European Champion, because of my fluffy rusty red coat and sincere blue eyes. Four years ago I had a stroke, could not move my left legs. Now I am nearly fully recovered, can climb my scratch tree again, and from the observation post at the top I look out the window, enjoy bad weather outside, and snarl at dogs passing by.

My caregiver and can opener is Edda. I love her, even when she calls: “Keep your paws away from the computer keybord !”. So I went to Reinhard, who lives in the neighbourhood. He lets me use his ‘puter.

My message to you human strokers is : CATS ARE THE BEST PETS; AND GOOD COMPANY !

Meeow ! – Carnaby, the red tomcat

BTW : Noddy ! Do you have any news from Marie Claire and Squeaky ?

Denzel Washington visits Brook Army Medical Center

Denzel Washington was visiting Brook Army Medical Center in San Antonio,Texas the other day. This is where soldiers that have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the States, especially burn victims. They have buildings there called Fisher Houses. The Fisher House is a hotel where soldiers’ families can stay, for little or no charge, while their soldier is staying in the hospital. BAMC has quite a few of these houses on base but as you can imagine, they are almost completely filled most of the time.

While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses. He asked how much one of them would cost to build. He took his check book out and wrote a check for the full amount right there on the spot. The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear this story and want to get the word out to the American public

Re: News about Ed

Hi Patti,

Thanks for keeping us updated about Ed. I think your idea of Assisted Living is a good one. I hope he considers it if he doesn’t have any help at home. I can’t believe that the rehab people would just “throw him to the wolves” so to speak. Could you post Ed’s home phone number again. I’d like to call him when he goes home.


News about Ed

Hi Everyone,
Ed called me this morning and this is what he said; They will probably kick me out of rehab on Friday I am depressed because I have no one to go home to I don’t know what I am going to do as Pat, his nephew, can’t stay any longer. I’ll just have to try and make it on my own. They are offering some home care, but I don’t know how much. I’m afraid to be alone. Al can come come by sometimes but like Pat, he can’t stay and he lives 50 miles away. It seems that both men have families and jobs that they have to attend to. They yanked his drivers license so he can’t drive. Pat will at least see that he gets home. He can’t walk much. I suggested he go into assisted living for the time being but I don’t think he’ll do that. Maybe some of you guys can talk some sense into him. His mail is currently being held at the post office he thinks. z00ky did Mrs. z send the booboos to his house or the rehab center? He hadn’t gotten them yet if they went to the rehab center. Kate he said to
apologize to you for cutting your phone call short the other day but the nurse was with him when you called. He appreciates the calls he has been getting. All in all he feels lost and all alone. But he promised to keep working at getting better. And I am sure he will.
That’s about it for now.


After 6 yrs of comming together mentally after 3 strokes I wrote a great selling book Like A Bolt of my strange journey to recovery. Now2 yrs after book I feel complete except for a few focus deficits. I still don’t feel like my pre-stroke self but I like who I am. I think wat is called stroke depression is realy facing reality. zThe more well I became the more affected I was that my life was changed. If I dwell on wat I can no longer do I get upset so I make a concentrated effort not to let myself go there. I receive awards for my efforts sharing my experience with other survivors and care givers. I hv a very interesting abundant life. I can’t waste time on feeling sorry for myself (although easy to do). I stay busy and write articles for magazines and as most of you know I’m the Cover Girl for stroke connection magazine March/April issue. I seriously doubt I wud hv made cover girl status without stroke. I’m loving the new me and the life I hv created. Anybody can do it if I can given the biological healings I was blessed to have. Like A Bolt


Peter Fee I found writing to be very theraputic for me. As I wrote my book I saw things about me that I was not consciencly aware of. Please let me know of your writing progress and I’ll help you anyway I can. You can get a free subscription to Stroke Connection mag by going to
strokeconnectionmagazine on google but I don’t know if you can btain a back issue. Let me know I hv a couple and I’ll send you one if you
can’t get it. Like A Bolt Mary

Re: Re: order

The brain can do strange things with memory. I speak to many survivor groups and in my book I write of intense memories I relived. Survivors
tell me they did the same. Memories of being a small child and playing. One man said he had intense memories of being 5 years old playing with his friend Butchie. I had memories as far back as 2. I ask an older cousin if that memory was true and he said yes. Many survivors as well as me think deep about many memories and death. I just wish I cud hv thot to bring up memory of being born. That one wud hv been fun. LOL Kirk Douglas writes of remembering being little but doesn’t say how intense or different it felt to do so. Most of the time it was fun to be so little and remembering just playing. Many survivors say the same. Enjoy the ones you can they will tell you a lot about yourself. Like A Bolt Mary

Re: order

I dont understand this computer format and I hope I can get this greeting out and on line.

These past few weeks have been an awaking to me because IveThought about every thing from birth to death , like never befor Its down right scary Are they telling me the truth or not ? Who can I believe ? I was never this distrusting



I don’t agree on order of recovery. At first mine was depression wishing to move on and desperately trying to overcome confusion. I still don’t feel like my pre stroke self and my personality didn’t come back as it was, but very modified. I like who I am now. Fits and torture of suicide were constant battles I fought. I’m so glad those episodes hv not been around for a couple years although I don’t think it wud take much to throw me in that deep dark hole I fell into so often. I think I came to terms w/my physical deficets early on. Of course there was anger but I found my way around that as well. My stroke was in my brain stem and affected everything about me mentally. I’m so glad tobbe back.I still await healings in brain. I’m still paralyzed on left side and use of right hand only . I don’t see well but am grateful for wat I do see as I cud see a lot less early into stroke. I think possibilities still exist and spend time each day concentrating on moving sumthin on my left. Like A Bolt Mary


Jayme I met a lady from Conn. brain injury asso. she had a small dog that told her when seizures were about to occur. She said many dogs can hv that sense but be sure to hv a dog you can bond with. A 2 year old pomarian was given to me but wudn’t come close to me very often but appeared to love my husband and grandkids. After a very upsetting episode of sttress I was different mentally and it was profound. The dog immediately began jumping in my lap and licking my face. i do believe they know brain waves. I’m told greyhounds are very intuitive. However my husband and I both are disabled and a big dog will not work for us. Like A Bolt Mary

Why some try

I believe that nothing is more elusive than that thing within us called “the will”. People who work with people often “try”, a therapy, a procedure, a ruse, whatever, and it works on some people but not on others. Sometimes “healing” or “motivation” or “something” is there and sometimes its not.

For a while years ago I got excessively involved with a young lady in my congregation. I would “kick myself” verbally and she would excuse me
saying “You’re only human”. Yes, apparently I have human weaknesses, but I believe that to be “truly human” means I can make choices. You can kick me and I can cry or laugh, you can flirt with me and I can smile and go the other way or I can respond with flirtatious responses. To be “truly human” means I am not programed or conditioned. I have a “will”. I will or I won’t. If you know “why” a particular person responds or acts in a certain way while others act differently you have insight that exceeds most of us.


zooky wrote: “In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”

~ Margaret Atwood
zooky, i really like this quote. i look forward to smelling ike dirt tonight. my plans for the day include redoing the cocoa mat liners in my
window boxes. of course i have some perennials which winter over planted in them so transplanting is also included in the days agenda. i lways look forward to getting my hands in the dirt in the spring. its so rewarding to see your plants grow and bloom. and since we have a wedding coming up this june, i want the house and grounds to look especially good this year. so today, on may day, i officially kick off my spring planting season. luckily the sun is shining. it has been very grey and dreary here in SE pennsylvania this spring. but i think things are about to change.


Progress Report (Don)

Don is starting to respond to Rehab and is propelling himself in a wheelchair and getting around the ward. Today he was able to recognize
printed words & read the headlines in a magazine. He still has problems with speech but is communicating more with the nurses & therapists. He did have a setback earlier in the week when they had him standing & he felt he would fall. Don lost confidence & didn’t do his therapy the next day…. When I visited later on in the day I convinced him to get into his wheelchair (The nurses transfer him from the bed to the chair with a transfer device) I told Don I understood how he felt because of my own physiotherapy for my rebuilt knee when I had to learn to go down stairs I was so afraid of losing balance & taking a header downwards.. He snapped out of his depressed mood & today he made remarkable strides towards healing. I am so proud of my Don! Thank you for all of you praying for us, we are feeling & seeing those prayers at work each day!


strokers therapy

I remember seeing a post from Kate where she talks about getting therapy for people at least a year or more post stroke. She mentioned she is getting this therapy and working on adding weight to affected leg and improving her gait.

My therapist has been trying to “undo” many things I learned after my stroke (5-1/2 years ago). I mentioned your post to him and he asked if he could get info on the program Kate mentioned. I had this same therapist about 3 yrs ago and lost touch, but he is really good. He now works at Easter Seals where I get my rehab. If anyone can give me info on this, I would be most greatful.
Thanks, Pauli

Re: Re: Re: MODERATOR PLEASE !! — Stroke Survivor and posting at site where neu

Yogendra- Welcome to the group.TPA can br sdministered up toВ 3 hours after the onset of symptoms. There is a device called a MERCI clot retryever that can be used up to 65-8 houts after the onset of synptoms. The best suggstion on I can offer you is to ask your Dr. where you should go or what you should do if you believe you are having another stroke. You might also ask if you could be screened for any blood clotting disorders like anti-phospholupid syndrome or the genetic Leiden 4 factor.В In the US, standard trEATment for elevated homocusteine.
level is taking a fish oil/omega acid supplement.Ssk about thatВ I am not familiar with the nedications you listed and cannot find outВ what the US equivalents that i would be familiar with are. Sorry I cannot be of more hrlp, but thatВ really shouldВ come grom someone fammiliar with your local resources В Kate L group moderator Madison WI.

Re: Re: MODERATOR PLEASE !! — Stroke Survivor and posting at site where neu

Hi Yogendra Yadav

WELCOME to our group!

All of us are stroke survivors so you can feel free to ask as many questions about strokes as you want.

However, none of us are Drs. so we cannot give formal advice on medical matters. One of our members – Kate – is a registered nurse and can probably steer you in the right direction, though. In the meantime, please follow the advice of your Drs.

Another of our members, Nagraj Jain, lives in India. His wife had an ischemic stroke as well. He knows your system of medical care in India.
Perhaps he could give you some advice on guiding you on how best to handle your situation in India?

Here’s hoping that you can get answers to your questions – SOON!


Re: MODERATOR PLEASE !! — Stroke Survivor and posting at site where neu


I understand your question to be whether you should have surgery in the absence of good neurological backup. I am not sure what they would be working on, but a general answer is: no. Your surgery needs just got more expensive. My recommendation is to plan any surgery very arefully, thinking through all of the potential problems, making sure you will have the resources you need. I have never been to your country, so I can’t speak for yours. However, in mine–both America where I live now and the Canada whence I came–it is only in the big city hospitals that you find pretty much all of the great health facilities. Exceptions like the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota are rare. Here, most university teaching hospitals are good and some (like UCLA, John’s Hopkins, or the Texas Medical Center) are great.

Of course, I have a few problems making any useful recommendation. I am a brain damaged fool without medical training. Remember that advice is seldom worth more than you pay for it. There’s an alternative source: your doctors. Use them.


MODERATOR PLEASE !! — Stroke Survivor and posting at site where neurologist and stroke care facility may not be available

Hi all,

I am Yogendra Yadav working in govt. company India. I had an Ischemic Brain Stroke earlier and survived with some loss of sensation in left half of the body and other cognitive disabilities. I am currently under the observation of a neuro-surgeon as episodes of sudden numbness in left half of the body along with the vertigo (loss of coordination) etc. has not stopped yet. My homocysteine level has already crossed the upper limit. MRI findings reveal a focal gliosis in right post-central gyrus. I am on medicines ….. Vibrania, Oxetol, ecosprin, fuscinium.

Can I be recommended to work on the site where there is non availability of neurologist nearby or non availability of stroke-center nearby? My doctor does not advice me to go to such areas. I am also scared if a second stroke strikes again and if there is no specialist help nearby, I could be left paralysed or would be gone altogether.

I heard time is brain and for such patients if stroke medical facility is far away then the chances of permanent disability and death too increases drastically. If MRI is not done and TPAs are not administered within 1 hr. of initiation of stroke then risk for permanent disability and risk for life exists. Is this right ?

Is there any chances stroke can recur to me given I still face episodes of sudden numbness in left half of body and vertigo problems as well? Are they mini strokes and warning signs?

Can I be recommended to work on the site where there is non availability of neurologist nearby or non availability of stroke-center nearby?

Yogendra Yadav

Today Don WALKED!!

Today Don WALKED!! OK perhaps not in the true sense BUT in physiotherapy two therapists assisted Don on the parallel bars. Don walked the length of the bars holding on to the rails his paralyzed arm was in some sort of a brace with a strap that ran from the shoulder down the length of his & hand. It helped hold onto the bar. He stepped with his good foot & the second therapist gently pulled the other foot orward… ALL the therapists in the room broke into cheers & applause. I sat watching from a distance with tears brimming in my eyes… I was THAT proud of him!!!!!!!! Thank you Lord.

Don IS my BRAVE HEART!!!!!!


The Pacific North Wet

Sometimes the “wet season” seems to be the only season we have in the Pacific North Wet. I remember our days in Phoenix. I’d get up in the a.m. and peek outside. “Aw shucks” (you may assume that I used a stronger word there), “it’s gonna be ANOTHER hot, sunny day”. Well, up here I look outside and say “Aw shucks, it’s gonna be ANOTHER sprinkly day!”. I *think* we had two weeks of summer last August but I may have blinked and missed them.

Enter the greenhouse. The veggies absolutely LOVE it! (so do I) The 1st crop is demanding to be harvested. We’ll be feasting on yummy salads all week. T’would be easy to become vegans right now. But, I need to avoid gluten and Mrs Z needs to drastically cut out the carbs. Oh well, we’ll just flash freeze those veggies which will eliminate any need to get them from the store.